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June 26, 2005
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The Ship

The ship
with sails of white
and soaring matchstick mast
bobs proudly in vast bathwaters,
rocked to and fro by tides no ocean knows -
until a sudden gurgling rush
sends it, startled, adrift;
wet paper sails,
the ship.
:iconthe-beastie:
This was a mini-experiment to thaw my brain a bit. Written in rictameter form: nine lines, with the syllable pattern 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 8, 6, 4, 2. First and last lines must be the same. It was nice and simplistic so I thought I'd give it a go.

Preview image from: [link]
A handy online media library.
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:iconabecedary:
Wow.
This is something else, all right. You even have the linguistics down for the setting, and your alliterative inclines lattice beautifully, and you once again dazzled with the toned syllables. You’re a master with rhythmic poetry.
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:iconthe-beastie:
~the-beastie Dec 18, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
:thanks:

thank you - you definately exagerrate with 'master', but thank you.
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:iconabecedary:
'Round here, trust me, no exaggeration was implemented.

And you're welcome. :)
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:icondarkcityxx:
Its interesting.. i cant think of much more to say.. but reminds me of a toy in a bath
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:iconthe-beastie:
~the-beastie Jul 28, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad it reminds you of a toy in a bath, that's exactly what it is... (:
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:icondarkcityxx:
ohh go me hehe
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:iconnull-entity:
~Null-Entity Jul 11, 2005  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Its interesting I will give it that :) and some wonderful little words in there and some ever better mental images.
All I can say is hats of to you for stiking to the numbers/style, something I just hate lol.
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:iconthe-beastie:
~the-beastie Jul 11, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the comment!
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:icondutchshun:
Couldn't even manage 5 7 5 but this will be my next challenge now.
Very well done by the way. I liked it before I read it was created to a particular structure.
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:iconthe-beastie:
~the-beastie Jul 10, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it!
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